Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Interesting encounters - "Sniper"

It seems that you can meet a lot of very interesting people on you travels. When me and the case study team were in Vancouver we came across an interesting man with an interesting demeanour and a few missing teeth who had acquired the nickname of "sniper" due to his previous involvement with the Canadian army. He was a very interesting man... (thats him in the far right)

Sniper it seemed had lived an incredibly interesting life, if what he said was true, however some of his stories seemed a little unrealistic. One of the more normal people we met in the hostel, Pete from Australia, (thats him with the laptop) took it upon himself to keep a record of some of the classic sniper moments.

Here are some of the good ones.
Yeah, I was stationed in England with the Canadian Army. I was a sniper instructor. My second day in the army I aced the shooting test. (comparison of hand steadiness ensues. Pete: I'm pretty hungover. Sniper: I'm hungover too, AND I've had 11 cups of coffee this morning.)

You know Ted Turner? The guy who owns CNN and used to be married to Jane Fonda? Well, he's the largest single land-owner on the planet, he owns like, a third of the US, all prairie, and he leased it back to the farmers on the condition that they take down all the fences. So now he's got the largest bison herd in the country. They were all endangered but now there's like, 3 billion of them. That's a lot of ‘illions! But they had all these gophers, and you can't have the gophers because the bison step in their holes and break their legs, and when you're dealing with an endangered species you can't have that, you need that gene pool. So I was getting paid a dollar a gopher, just going out with a long 22 and ping! Ping! I was getting like 150 dollars a day, and no 15 year-old should be making 150 dollars a day, you know?

As much as he scared me, he was quite the story teller.


Tygogal said...

See Please Here

barra said...

3 billion huh? sounds like you've got an infestation there. im surprised they arent roaming every city street in america, getting caught in various potholes, ridden by homeless and those who cannot afford cars. Seems like a good business opportunity to customize bisons. people want extra flair, reflecting thier own personalities on these beasts.
seems like "sniper" will soon be employed to get rid of the bison coz they are endangering the gophers. haha

ed said...

Pretty sure sniper has a posse of weird friends too, they could help out. According to sniper he has a friend in Japan who is four foot tall and has a two foot mohawk with electrodes in it, pretty sure he'd be a deadly assasin, also sounds somewhat like a punk version of oddjob